After such a declaration, I have to confess that my life has been tragically difficult -filled with unbearable heartaches. So much so, that I'd could very easily be pardoned from smiling, laughing, or lifting my voice in praise. However, throughout my entire life, even to my earliest memory, I have been filled with an inexplicable joy -misdirected at times- that helped develop an unquenchable, ever-growing hope whose flame never dies. With that flame burning brightly, I am bouncing with joy to share what God has been doing in mine and John's life lately! CRAZY GOOD!
Several years ago, God called us to sell our newly built, beautiful home, sell all of our possessions and move in with my parents. Yep, you heard correctly, my parents. Lol! This decision was not an easily one, except for the great relationship that we have with my parents. My dad had taken an early severance package at his job of 25 years. This was not only done to follow the call God had on my dad's life, but to also save the jobs of several people on his team. Then the economy tanked! Then my mom lost her job! Then their house flooded! And (if it can get worse) their frig started on fire! And then (yep, it gets worse) a tornado blew through their neighborhood and completely mangled the outside of their house with it's deadly hail storm. Let's just say my parents were beat up inside and out. On top of all this craziness, God called my parents (and later John and I) to plant a church! They needed help, and we were glad we could be there for them!
To make a long story short: my parents recovered, their house is beautiful inside and out, and their church is alive and well. After two and a half years, the Lord called us out of their church plant, and out of their home with renewed hearts and hope.
As we were preparing to move onto our new adventure, I received a devastating call --John lost his job. We were standing in the middle of our own very real and totally life altering tornado. I cried out to God, "WHY?!!" Why us? Why does it seem that crappy people with little integrity always succeed? Why are we biting a bullet again!? I was a hot mess my friends. I had to keep reminding myself that God is good, He is good, He is always good! But everything in our situation tried to relay the opposite.
With broken hearts and new found fears, we pressed on. We held to this truth, God was with us, beside us, carrying us, cheering for us, working all things for our good, and He would never ever get tired of doing so. The Lord never said that we wouldn't have troubles, in fact, He told us that troubles would come. However, He promised that He would be there to carry us through and show us the way out. And carry us He did!
I love when we come out of a storm and look back at the things that needed to die and where new life has sprung up. Most importantly, I love where I can see the fingerprints and footprints of God all over my life. One month after the job loss, John got a call asking him to consider coming back. We laughed! H-E-L-L No! was his answer. Although we missed the 'normal' of this job that he worked at for 10 years, we could no longer trust them with our family's stability. They had proven themselves scandalous and lacking integrity. We decided to cling to God for our hopes and provision! Six months later, John got a call reporting that the company he had worked for was bought out and all .....okay hear this, ALL..... the people in management were let go! What?! Crazy right! And here we thought God was punishing us for something we did (cause that's the kind of God we think He is when things go wrong, right!), but He wasn't!! He was saving us from the devastation of being let go during the summer months, when I don't work, and we literally have no money. That would have been devastating!
Riding high on this feeling of protection and provision, the unthinkable happens. We get into a car accident! Let me rewind a bit and tell you that in the chaos of the storm, we were able to pay-off both of our cars! We owned them! They were ours! So the accident. A teen boy, who felt texting was more important than watching where he was going, plows right into the back of our car at a red light --pushing us into the car in front of us! Talk about a doozy of a situation. This is where I watched a miracle unfold. **It gets a little crazy here** I clearly saw, what looked like, a gleaming sunshiny bubble completely envelop our car! I knew it was Jesus people, because things should have been way, way worse. Let me testify right here to God's great power: the boy was going between 40-45mph, no skid marks, which means he never even hit his brakes. The front end of his car was pointing straight up to the heavens, and his driver side tire was folded perfectly flush with the engine --barely attached. My car? You could hardly tell we'd been hit!! Miracle city!!! The firefighters were flabbergasted that not only DIDN'T my windows shatter (He was protecting my Noah who was in the backseat), but my airbags didn't deploy! We hit the car in front of us people!! And!!! The car in front of us, who, without a miracle, we would have pushed straight into oncoming traffic, because they were car #1 at the light? No damage!! None!! Jesus boggles my mind! I love it!! He makes the impossible, possible.
We didn't walk away without injury, but we did walk away with our lives! And as the days unfolded and reality set in --no car, doctor bills sucking our emergency fund dry-- I clung to the sweetness of Jesus. Let me tell you, that it is not an easy thing to do in the aftermath of adversity, especially with all the dealings of being in a car accident. Some days I was drained and a bit angry with God. Hadn't I suffered enough, scarified enough? However, I never lost hope that He was working it out! He is a good Father! He can handle my drama and still love me, and still work all things for my good! Isn't that the kind of parent you are? I sure am! I always want the best for my kids even when I'm ready to pull my hair out! Lol!
Jesus was out to WOW us! To restore and renew hope in the dark places of our souls. So we get a call from our dear friends, asking if would be home in about an hour; they had some paperwork they needed to give us. We said yes. Never suspecting a thing!! So they get to our house and hand John the keys to their car the explain that Jesus told them to give (not borrow) us their car!! Not their extra car! Not their crappy car (not that their other car is crappy! Lol!)! There nicest, most beloved, super fun, always wanted, this is how I get my kids to school, car! Gave. It . To. Us. You must know, that these beloved friends of ours, couldn't afford this! They are not rich. Needless to say, we cried! And after all our whining to God about Him not blessing us, we felt totally unworthy of this gift --this blessing. We humans are drama bombs, for reals! He knows us, knows where we came from, knows the things we have done, and yet, yet, He still chooses us. I'm humbled!
Let's go a little deeper here! God told me that we were going to get our new car from someone we knew. I was pretty sure I knew who that person was, but was WAY wrong. John however, went on a search for a vehicle. Because he's a man and that's what he does! He protects and provides. He calls me at work and says, "There's a 2008 Honda Accord in Boulder that I want to take you to look at. It's fully loaded like your old car, it's white, and I think you'll like it." I agree to go see it only after telling him that it will be a waste of time because we are going to get a car from someone we know. Lol, always holy thinking people! I also totally doubted that I'd get a car as nice as my 300. And let's be real, Hondas are expensive. The day before that appointment, our friends gave us their car! What is the car, you wonder? A 2008, Pearl White, Fully Loaded, Honda Accord!! COME ON SOMEBODY!!! Right!!!
Never in a million years people! Never!
The first thing we did as a family? We held hands (with the keys and title paperwork in the middle), wept, and begged God that we would be able to give that big! Again and again and again! Oh! to be used by Him, is there anything greater? I think not! Hope is in your hand, hold tightly to it, especially when the storms of life threaten to tear it from you --God is always moving things on your behalf! He is crazy, incomprehensibly good!
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