WARNING: For any men whom read my blog, I apologize now! lol!
The 'curse' entered my life on the morning of my 13th birthday, and my life (as all women can attest) was never the same. Along with the routine interruptions and mishaps; my monthly visitor was not only irregular but very painful; I felt hell --as I 'weeped' and 'gnashed' my teeth against the rages of the beast set loose in my body. To make a very long, and painful story short, I will tell you that I became a girl with a serious attendance problem. I was a tardy and truant student, an employee with a terrible attendance record, and a momma who couldn't even get off the couch for several days every month.
When I was 20yrs old, I lost our first child. Doctors couldn't find any reason as to why, other than my body must have rejected the fetus because there must have been something genetically wrong with "it". Such a devastating blow -John and I were just babies ourselves; unable to comprehend the enormity of our loss. And at 24, I had a surgical procedure called leep (which is performed on the cervix) because they found abnormal cell growth --pre cancer.
Before I continue, you must know that at 22, our first son, Noah, came into this world; at 25 our second, Connor, entered this world; and at 29 our third son, Joseph, was born!
Why do I tell you this? Well, most of you know that I had a major surgery last August, and only a small handful know the what and why! Today, I explain! After things started getting increasingly worse every month, I finally went to a doctor in Boulder. She said she believed that I, not only, have endometriosis but also adenomyosis. And the only way to find out for sure is to go under the knife. Not good! So our choices: exploratory surgery or opt for a hysterectomy -where she would 'save' what she could. So after much prayers and talking it out, John and I went back to her and said, "Take it out!" We are done having kids; we don't 'need' it anymore! I really did not struggle with this decision at all as I saw it as a saving and most excellent answer to the elimination of my pain!
So we take the leap into faith. Why is the story so amazing? You are about to see!! And I am just beside myself; overcome, excited, and in total awe of the precious love of my Jesus! Upon our first conversation with the doctor, post op, she begins to tell us that I was in really bad shape; my whole insides completely riddle with disease! She says, "You had, by far, the worse progression of endometriosis and adenomyosis I have ever seen!" She's been a doctor for 20+ years people!! We just stared, eyes wide, not yet understanding. I, not only, had these two conditions but had several large cysts in my tubes and in one ovary (losing it completely as it was as large as a golf ball!!), and in my cervix! She wasn't kidding when she said I was completely diseased!! She then goes on to explain that she is certain that I have had these "conditions" since a very young age and that it is a complete miracle that I was ever able to (1) carry a baby (to full term, to boot) or (2) have a live birth!!
Them it hit us! The revelation of the very tangible and visible hand of God on our life! The undeserved grace and mercy we had staring us in the face every day; our three boys! John and I have done such despicable things; the chieves among all sinners; ghastly to even hell itself! And yet, He called us worthy! His mercy reached across of vast desert of sin and destruction we left in the wake of our poor decisions and violent lifestyles, and brought healing that we didn't even know we needed. His love for me has me undone! Overwhelmed! And thankful beyond speech for the honor He bestowed upon me --to be a mother. There is nothing better than that! Nothing!
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