The Tale of Great Embarrassment

Infinite Campus is one of the greatest smart phone apps on this planet. For those of you who do not know what this is; it is virtual access to your children while they are at school. It alerts my phone if the boys are marked absent in a class, and gives me access to the teacher's grade book! AMAZING! I can keep track of how the boys are doing in their classes, the homework they have due (or missing), and their attendance! Love it! I'm such a PI at heart, and this dandy little app on my phone just tickles me! Them? Not so much! However, I seriously don't care what they think on some matters, and this is one of those subjects where their opinion has ZERO weight! (Insert evil mom laugh!!)

Last week I received a grade update for my high schooler, that ignited my curiosity to dig deeper. I must first tell you that this child is doing really well in all of his classes but one. Which one you wonder? The very subject his mommy teaches everyday ---Math! Embarrassing!! :)

So I open the app (which takes forever; one down side) and see that my little smart pumpkin has an 'F'!! An F!! What?!?! After I recover from my momentary shock and disbelief ---mixed with a little bit of shame because I teach Math! Ugh!--- I decide I'm going to text him a word of encouragement that heavily lined with rebuke! (LOL)

My text: Get the F up SUCKA!!!!

Bam!!! He'll totally pick up what I'm laying down! I pat myself on my back for being a  mom who not only communicates on his level, but I do so in precise and clear messages. No ambiguity!

Here's how my conversation goes with him when he gets home from school:

Excitedly walks in, flabbergasted:

Noah: Mom!
Me: What? (Same emergency mocking tone)
Noah: You totally embarrassed me today!
Me: Oh! No! That sounds terrible! ('cause I really don't care if I embarrass him, he needs it! Lol)
Noah: Seriously! My teacher saw your text.
Me: So! (which I'm a little worried I got him in trouble but respond....) At least he knows I care about your grades.

Noah lets out a long exasperated sigh and begins to unravel The Tale of  Great Embarrassment

Noah: I was asleep in class mom when my phone went off. (Not seeing how this relates, I ponder) My phone was laying on the desk! (*Yawn* Get to the point, I think) He woke me up mom and says, "How'd your mom know Noah?" And I was like, "Know what?" And then he pointed to my phone  which said: Get the F up SUCKA!!!(Oh! No! Ha!) Not only that mom!!! my classmates where standing around me taking pictures of your text --Next To MY Sleeping HEAD!! (Drama in full effect!!)

Me: I didn't mean it like that (I am busting UP laughing at this point!!)
Noah: And then I thought, "How does she know!"
Me: 1st off Noah, God tells me everything about you (high-5 me!!) and 2nd off, I never talk to you like that so you should've known I wasn't telling you to wake up!
Noah: I didn't figure it out till I was in 8th hour, mom!
Me: Seriously! (Starting to see why he may have an F!! Lol!! Totally joking people!!)
Noah: I got my phone out to use my calculator (8th  hour is Math, go figure!!) and saw your text again. I was like, "Ooooh!"

 Hil-AR-I-OUS!! I'm  happy to report that Noah's teacher has not contacted me about my ESP abilities nor my foul mouthed texts! I'm praying he knew what that text was all about! Too bad we don't have another parent teacher conference before the end of the year, that would be an interesting conversation!

One more hilarity to add: I call John immediately excited to tell him all about it with the up most detail and drama I can muster (and I can muster a lot!). To which he replies:

 "What the heck is he doing sleeping in class!!!"

Doh! Did I even think about that? No!