"Sir! Unhand that child!"

Last night my boys had some of the neighbor boys stay the night and, just let me tell you we had a marathon xbox-ing happening last night. And if you could imagine 5 boys in one house (Yes I said 5 boys!! lol) you would know that a comically craziness was definitely going to ensue.

I fell asleep to farting wars which even continued into their sleep and we woke to the cold subzero breeze of a crisp Colorado morning air while I made everyone breakfast and coffee. Why would I have my windows open you ponder -Farting! lol! And so bad I gagged a couple times! Dang boys!

And my biggest fault, my inability to make them mind their manners? I laugh...too much at them! I blame it on my brothers; they ruined me for properness!

So we were all sitting at the table (drinking coffee...well the older children), sharing funny stories about our family members that they probably wouldn't find funny unless they were sitting with us. (You know how that is *wink-wink*). Here are a couple of my favorite.

I'll start with mine....well...cause I like to be the funny one! (lol)

A couple nights ago, I was writing (big surprise) and the battery on my computer died. I asked John to bring me the charger and he did; however, we discovered that the wires were exposed on a section of the cord....

John: What the heck! What's this? (because he cannot handle it when we break stuff!!)
Me: Exposed wires. (Cause I don't freak out over broken stuff; I start immediately to problem solve...did I mention I have a whole mess of brother?? lol)
John: Not funny Melissa (Now I will admit to you all now that I can not handle myself when John uses my real name....there is something not right about me....but it excites me a little when he gets irritated! LOL)
Me: Hand me some electrical tape..
John: I don't have any!
Me (Irritated sigh) I do! (He raises his brow at me but knows by now I have some stashed somewhere)

I proceed to get up and go grab my secret stash of electrical tape and come back to our room where John has climbed into bed all comfy like. I don't know why nor can I explain myself but I think it's going to be super funny to chuck the tape into the blankets folded around his tummy (he is laying on his side). I can literally hear the thud of the tape before I even throw it and giggle. (This all happens in milliseconds). I chuck the tape which was perfectly lined up and heading to the exact location I aimed......until John raises his knee! It bounces off his knee and pegs him right in the forehead!! I died laughing and even more so when he cussed at me! I fell onto the bed next to him laughing while trying to make sure he was okay. He was flaming mad!!! After several minutes of me consoling him and apologizing, he says....

John: You'd be pissed if I did that to you!
Me: You'd be dead! (No more laughing totally serious)


My other favorite.....

We recently joined up with Victim's Assistance and the Police Department to throw a huge Christmas party for children who are victims of a violent crime, and we were siting at the craft table helping the little ones make frames for their picture with our neighbors.

So our neighbors' (whom will remain nameless) youngest son starts to get crazy and his Dad's trying to correct him, and he is just losing it. The daddy goes to hand the boy off to the mommy (whom is still flipping out) when their oldest boy, very loudly says...

"Sir! Unhand that child!"

Oh My Goodness!!! Hilarious!! Seriously you had to be there!!