1.) You find yourself in a hippie band performing in the center of Pearl Street. Not because you have any talent per-say, but because the stench of raw aloe emanating from your person has confused the locals into believing that you are one of them!
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2.) You sit in the living room wearing nothing but your granny panties and a sleeping bra, accepting the fact that you will eventually have to pay for the therapy your children will need, as a result of seeing you in this condition.
3.) Your family was minutes away from calling you in as a missing person, but, thankfully, you woke up from a nap on the big RED couch, just in time to be found.
4.)Your family finds you, rocking yourself in the garage, blood everywhere, with rusty old steak knives taped to your fingers, as you try to extinguish Hell's Itch!
I'm convinced Wes Craven was suffering from Hell's Itch
when he got the idea for this story!
5.) You understand the fashion sense of the moo-moo ---and you buy one!
6.)You contemplate getting a part-time job as a clown, because your make-up is 7 shades too light for your skin.
7.) You think you may have been bitten and turned to into a vampire, because you're sure that spontaneous combustion will take place the minute the sun touches your skin.
8.) You've started a sunscreen manufacturing company out of your home, because, It Will Never Happen AGAIN!
9.) You have no problem finding anything you may have misplaced. All you have to do is follow the trail of dead skin to where ever it was you were last.
10.) You invite your friends and family over for a Peeling Party. Whoever is able to peel the longest piece from your body, wins!
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