1. Never gossip about your husband with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Even when the conditions are prime for a heart dumping, don't do it! Unless you are bragging on him, keep your mouth shut. Not only are you dishonoring your man, but you are telling everyone that you're an idiot with faulty decision making skills. (Ouch, I know!) Focusing on the negative simply makes the negative in your life grow exponentially!
Solution: Have marriage accountability partners! A couple you both get along with that both have the same morals and values as you do. Do not choose a gossiper as your accountability partner, it will end badly. Chooses someone who is honest, loving, and firm. One that will listen to you (does not let you whine/gossip) then offer advice or prayer that helps to re-direct your stinking thinking. Same sex for one-on-one mentoring!
2. Never and I mean N-E-V-E-R bad mouth, undermine, or whine about your husband in front of or with your children. This will only set your children up for hurts later in life, which will include despising you and hating their father.
Solution: Have a secret code (a word, eyebrow lift, elbow nudge, ect) between the both of you that indicates that a very private whisper conversation needs to happen quickly! (Lol) It goes something like this:
Kid: Dad? Can I have some ice cream.
Dad: No.
Mom: **eyebrow lift only for dad's eyes**
Dad or Mom: [Tells the child to leave the room]
Mom: (Whispering, because we know children have super sonic hearing! lol!) Hey, he was super good today.....
Dad: (considers mom's information) [calls kid back in] Your mom tells me you did awesome today so you can have some ice cream!
Now if John decides that the answer will still be a no after our pow wow, then it is a no AND I do not say another word about it AND I do so with a happy heart!! Do you hear what I'm saying?! Dad gets to say no without being a bad guy! We except the same respect.
Why does mom get to interject after dad says no (the 1st time only)? Let's face it, us mommies spend a majority of our time with the kids, so it is perfectly okay to provide your hubby with information he wasn't privy to. Whether it's in that child's favor or not, communication and not attitude needs to be your goal. If dad said yes to the ice cream and mom already said no, then mom gets the opportunity to bring dad up to date (this is not accomplished by pouting and/or throwing a fit mom!). However, it cannot happen in front of the child(ren). Your kid(s) isn't going to die if he/she doesn't receive an immediate response. And it is okay to show our children that you are working together as a team, undivided, totally united.
3. Be Your Husband's Biggest Cheerleader!! Don't be ignorant when it comes to this one! If you are not cheering for him, someone else will. And that someone else will most likely be of the opposite sex. Let your voice be the only one ringing 'excitement' through his ears and encouraging his heart, so when someone else says, "Hey you're great!" he can say, "I know, my wife tells me that all the time!" The 'enticer' loses all powers of persuasion when your hubby's cup is overflowing with praise from your lips!
Ideas: When my hubby is feeling less than, I tell him how great he is. When something has gone wrong at work and he feels like I failure, I remind him of all the wins and successes he has had. When my hubby is feeling unloved, I get everyone together to tell him how much we love him. We he feels weak, I tell him how strong he is! Ect, ect, ect!! I even have a shirt that says' "I love my husband." It makes me feel silly but it sends a clear message: I will fight you to the death for him! He is mine! And I am his!
4. Have sex with your husband!! The most important thing you must get over is this: your husband is not a women, he is all man! (lol) He is visually driven and that needs to be okay! He likes to look at you in those sexy little outfits that you may have stuffed in the back of your closet hoping they are forever forgotten! (Ha!) The next thing you have to get over: body imagine! Again, he is visually stimulated, and he likes, no! he LOVES YOUR BODY!!!! That is why he married you! He thinks you are hot with or without a few extra pounds! He wants you! Let him have you!!
Solution: Wear sexy stuff for him (NOT in public)! Be spontaneous! Utilize all your 'options' (**wink-wink**) for those nights when you do not want to go all the way. Seriously, let's not be cry babies about it either!! (Lol) Do not, and I repeat DO NOT talk bad about yourself when the 'mood' arises! Total turn off! Could you imagine wanting to get freaky with your hubby and him saying, "I'm just feeling so fat today!" Gag! And !!!NEVER!!!! critique his 'action' after you're done! Do the stuff to him that you want done to you or just say what you want him to do! He will not deny you girls!! :)
5. Don't constantly complain about his bad habits! Why? Because you have bad habits too! And they're probably nastier than his! (lol)
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