1.) Laugh, Laugh, and Laugh some more! This is mine and John's most favorite tool when it comes to fixing things in our lives. When life is throwing us curve balls and nothing seems to be going right, we find a way to laugh. Whether we start a tickle fight with the kids, get together with good friends, or desperately run to the Red Box to rent a comedy, we know laughter will not only lift our spirits but it will shift our perspective.
Example: John loves to 'song sponge' me at very inappropriate times. Our totally awesome friends gave us their 'coined phrase' to this little trick, before that I just called it annoying! Ha! Here's how it works o,r should I say, how John uses it most: We are in the middle of a heated debate (or fight, whatever), and out of no where John will do something like this:
Me: You never _____________________________________ (vomit of emotion filled words)
John: Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
..............Then he stops singing.............. waiting...........waiting.............waiting.............
Me: Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")
Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right"
*****************************SONG SPONGED***********************
Argument is over at this point and I'm off to the next thing with this sweet little number stuck in my head --all day long. An added bonus: I find all three of my boys singing or whistling it all day long too. And if you are wise to pay attention, you'll hear your kids' friends singing it! Lol! My home and neighborhood is a choir house signing a melody of reminders that something's are better left unsaid, and the experience of joy is greater than being right! Right?
2.) Get some lovely friends! You may think this does not honor your husband, but au contraire, ami, it does! When you surround yourself with good friends, you complain less, have your feelings hurt WAY less, and can undeniably eliminate unnecessary drama from your life. I have a very small group of women who know me intimately, and they are not from the mean momma's club! You know what I'm saying! These were not overnight (I am desperate) friendships. They've taken an investment of time and openness! And these relationships are deep! Not superficial, "you shouldn't feed your kids sugared cereal." They are lovingly confrontational, "You shouldn't talk to your husband like that!" Not condemnation, but life giving --things that really matter are on their lips and their hearts.
Try this: Join a bible study group or club of your interest, and just watch. Silence is necessary for wise discernment. Who in the group is kind but strong, loving but straightforward, and never ever under any circumstances have you ever heard her gossip about anyone --including not ever bad mouthing her husband? Align yourself with her! And remember, age ain't nothing but a number!
3.) Brag on your husband! Tell him, often, why you love him --for who is he right now not who you want him to become. He is the bee's knees, the cream of the crop, your tall, dark, and handsome, your knight in shining armor! He is legit -the real deal!! Celebrate who he is today, give him encouraging cheers to walk down the path of growth, and relish every step of the way!
Try this: I often tell my children why I chose John. Why? Because I want them to choose wives of great character! I tell them, "You know why I love your dad? (they roll their eyes! lol!) Because he is honest and fair. He loves us so much that nothing else in this world looks, feels, or is better than spending time with us!" He is __________________________ (fill in the blank). Tell him, your family, your kids, your friends, ect. ect.
Write little love messages and post them on his mirror, in his car, on his lunch box, on his favorite coffee mug. Give him a reason to smile all day long!
4.) Be spontaneous! We, mommies, love our routines, they saves our lives in many-many ways! Lol! Every day has its lists and schedules, to keep us sane and encourage (manipulate) the best attitudes out of our children. "No I cannot come over at noon because so-in-so has to nap at that time." "We cannot eat at McDonalds because your brother hates it and will cry or through a fit the whole time, let's eat at Wendy's." We are always living in the plan instead of enjoying the now! The balance we are constantly trying to maintain is not only sucking the joy out of us but out of our family as well. Yes! naps are important. Yes! balance is good. However, it is no longer beneficial when we go overboard and never allow life to just flow. This only creates crazy-control-freak-always-feeling-like-a-failure momma's, unhappy husbands (because they never measure up and/or are allowed to be daddies), and very stressed out children (because they feel like they can never do anything right and/or are simply a nuisance to our lives).
Try this: When your hubby or friends says, "Let's go to ___________!" and you know that you have not had the proper amount of time to prepare for an outing, get over yourself and go!!! Grab some snacks and some drinks, things that will occupy the children, and sit back and relax! Enjoy life with your family and let go of your controlling ways. Memories are so much sweeter then regime! It is one thing to be a great planner but it is quite another to be a control freak. You know which one you are!
5.) Have fun!! There is nothing that honors your husband more! He works hard all day long and wants to come home to see the fruits of his hard labor. Fully ripened, sweet and juicy, bright and beautiful in color. Girlfriends!! Not the kind of fruit that leaves your face puckered into a sour state and carves a trail of bitterness deep into your soul. #4 is the starting point of getting to #5! Your husband wants you to have fun with what he has provided! He wants his labors to be enjoyed.
Try this: The kids and I will hide in the house when we see John pull up in the driveway and let him find us --this results in a squealing delight-filled laughter! This is especially fun when the kids are little! Or we will race to the door to see who can hug daddy first! Not matter what has happened during your day or his, this will set you up for a night of good feelings and treasured memories. Your husband wants you to have fun with what he has provided! He wants his labors to be enjoyed.
Plan trips! While you are saving for big trips (Disney, Hawaii, an Alaskan Cruise), plan little ones that cost little or no money.
MOST IMPORTANT: Never, ever, ever complain about how little you have. This is a nuclear destructive blow to everything he does and sacrifices to provide for his family. John and I together, and on our own, make "Declarative Statements" over our finances every day. It looks a little like this:
>We don't have bills, we have paid bills!
>We are not broke, we have hidden treasures!
>Money isn't a means to living out our dreams!
>What are we going to do when we end up making too much money this month!
This does not eliminate our financial struggles but it sure makes life so much 'fun-er'!!
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